MOVING AWAY FROM HOME AND FAMILY

Gloria 3 years ago

we are about to move 1200 miles away from my parents. It hurt me so much to give them the news. We are all so close. My husband seems fine living far from his own family.

thanks for your article

Martin Cuda 2 years ago

There are nice things about having family around. However, I would never be shy about moving. I have lived in all corners of Ontario, including beyond the end of the roads leading north. I can say without hesitation that moving has always brought wonderful adventure and new friends. Perhaps my enjoyment with moving stems from the great experience of the first move I remember as a youngster. We moved from the Toronto area to Ottawa, the nations capital. Ottawa is a beautiful city in a beautiful natural setting. I made new friends easily. The schools were impressive and the teachers were awesome. I stayed active in sports and joined the scouts. It was a very positive experience.

I do miss the friends I make along the way and I stay in touch with as many as I can. However, my attitude is simply to feel greatful that I have these friendships and to look forward to making more friends throughout life.

Perhaps I also accept having a dispersed family since my grandparents and other relatives were widely dispersed across Canada. Visiting them while I was growing up was always an adventure...even though car sickness sometimes made the trip a challenge. I now have so much greater knowledge of the land and communities than most people. I am very fortunate.

Cheers

Martin Cuda, Cambridge, Ont.

Barbara Mann 2 years ago

I moved 1200 miles away from home - born and raised - with my fiance. His family is all around here - and they are definately in-laws. I definately have that feeling that I just will never quite belong with them no matter how long I am with him. It's awful, and I miss everyone from home. It's hard making friends, it took forever to find some jobs, and sometimes I just come home and have no motivation. I miss my home, and I would not really recommend anybody making a move like this unless they can easily go back.

Salsaletty63 2 years ago

Hi areline,

I thank you for this article! I'm working on a reflective essay for my college course and I was thinking about my life when I moved to Michigan from California 21 years ago. You made excellent points about some of the disadvantages about moving long distance. I regret having missed out on seeing my two nephews grow up and not being there for family functions throughout the Los Angeles area. The good side to this story is that I've gained a lot on independence and confidence about meeting new people and experiencing drastic weather. Nevertheless, I'll always miss home and now I think about my daddy living in Mexico by himself since my mom passed away. It never ends and we just make the best of every situation that comes our way. I enjoyed your writing very much and look forward to more reading.

katherine 2 years ago

i'm 18 and i'm moving 1700 miles away from my hometown where all of my friends and immediate family live right before my 19th birthday in less than 2 months. I haven't lived "at home" or to say with my parents, for over a year now and i felt so brave about this big move up till now. I've always felt like I can handle everything in this big bad world till the reality actually hit me that it will be a year before i see my big sister who lives out of state, and months before i see any other family or friends. Even though I haven't lived with my mom or my dad for a long time there is something so comforting about knowing they are close. That I can go "home" to do laundry, watch tv, help myself to the fridge and nobody cares. I won't have any of that when I move and I've had a terrible time coping with it which is uncharacteristic for me, the strong impenetrable wall that doesn't crack under any pressure... 1700 miles away from everyone i grew up with. I know I can do it and I will be successful but it hurts to think that I won't be able to be in the physical presence of my family because as much as they drive me nuts there is something very comforting about them, especially when you're out on your own.

Emily 2 years ago

I dont know what to do! My boyfriend is from Illnois and Im from NC. He is station here in Jacksonville NC. He gets out next January. The way he sees it about moving is whereever he finds a job that where we will go between arlington va all the way to tampa florida. That is really hard for me being so close to my family. I do love him very much and want to be with him but what decison do i make. We did break up a month ago b/c we argue about where we would live. Do you think it will be easier when we started having a family of out own?

movearoundus 2 years ago

it's really a big matter to be away 1200 miles from beloved family members. The warmth, charm, affections are always felt. njoy every bit of the nice world

bukan 2 years ago

Yeah its a challenging one at your stage. Its a long distance from the sweet home. I miss my home also :) everybody should. :)

Jeanie 2 years ago

Gosh where do I begin? I left my home state of Georgia and moved to South Florida due to the fact that I got married. I have been down here for 6 months and miss my home so very very much. I want to go home. I don't like South Florida. This is not my home. I am miserable. I miss the trees, hikes in the woods, my home and everything about Georgia. This has been quite a change for me and I don't know what to do about it. Florida is a nice place to visit but trust me you would not want to live here. Things are going well for me here. I got a job and I could not get a job in Georgia. Not much to go around but what do you know I get down here and bam I have a job. Just don't know what is wrong with me. I miss my home. It was my soft haven to land. It was where I got away and I loved it. Maybe it is just mental and not so much missing, but I want to go back home very very badly.

Lucky Lu 23 months ago

I feel all your pain, I am one of those too who moved so far away from home. I am from Thailand,went to the States when I was 21 and now I am 36 and only went back to Thailand to visit my family 3 times. I miss them so much. I made a bad decision to go away this far and this long. Now it is even worse. My partner is from Illinois, we got married and moved to Canada. I am so lonely and so is she. No matter where we will live, in Thailand or in the States, one of us will always be the who has to be away from our family. If we live in Thailand, she will be half the world away from her parents, relatives, and so on. If we live in the States, I will be the one who suffers. If we live in Canada forever....both of us will have nobody...we will only have the two of us. It is such a lonely life. We both are so sad....we don't know what to do. I wish you all the best. For those who is about to make this important decision, please take your time and really think about it. Are you ready to face to loneliness? Please take all the advice from this article. I wish I could go back and change everything. I thought I could be happy with just my partner wherever we live, but it turned out to be a happy, cruel loneliness.

kel 22 months ago

Wow. I am lonely too. I moved only 2 hours away from my family but it is still difficult to get back home. We moved so my husband could get a different job and at the time I thought it was a great idea, but soon as everything was finalized (the sale of our house) I starting regretting it. Also we moved when our first baby was just born (he was 1 month old). We have lived here for just about 4 months now and I have been sad the whole time. I try to go out and enjoy things and meet new people and just walk and be outdoors but it's not the same. I just want to be home. I want to be able to hang out and talk with people face to face not on the phone. I want my family to see and know our baby growing up. I miss everything about my hometown, even though when I lived there it didn't seem like anything special. Now I see all that it had to offer. I wish we could go home. Whenever anyone asks me how its going here I say great!, but I cry lots. I tried talking to my husband about it but he just says snap out of it like I can magically be happy, maybe with time I guess.

Krit 22 months ago

This article was definitely bittersweet for me. I am moving--along with my boyfriend--to a destination 8+ hours from home for a new job opportunity. I have a Masters degree and am in a competitive, specialized field. That is why I wasn't able to stay where I currently live--because the field I wanted to go into did not have positions open around here. Sometimes you must make sacrificies to attain your goals. I am feeling optimistic and believing that I'll still see family and friends regularly. I know this may not be true, though, since 500 miles is not an "easy" drive. I'm trying to be strong and confident about my decision, but it's still tough thinking about being far from family and friends.

LOLO 20 months ago

I AM VERY MUCH CONSIDERING MOVNG TO FL. FROM IL. AWAY FROM EVERYONE I KNOW AND LOVE ADN GREW UP WITH. IVE NEVER BEEN AWAY FROM MY HOME TOWN BUT I MET THIS WONDERFUL MAN. FAMILY WILL SUPPORT YOU AND LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT DECISIONS YOU MAKE. AND TRUST ME THIS IS THE TOUGHEST ONE IVE EVER MADE. IT TEARS ME UP SOMETIMES TO KNOW HOW MUCH I WILL MISS EVERYONE ESP. MY PARENTS. YOUR LIFE ONLY HAPPENS ONCE THO AND LIMITING YOURSELF BC OF OTHER PEOPLE IS NONSENSE. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BTWN BEING SELFISH AND DOING THINGS FOR YOURSELF. I KNOW THIS MOVE WILL BE LIFE CHANGING AND IF BY SOME CHANCE THINGS DONT WORK OUT..FAMILY AND FRIENDS WILL ALWAYS BE BACK AT HOME WAITING WITH OPEN ARMS. THEN YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO REGRET NOT GIVING IT A CHANCE. GO FOR IT AND MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR LIFE WHO KNOWS IT COULD BE AMAZING!

John DeSimone 20 months ago

wow where to begin, I moved from philly to san diego a year ago for a job. I am very close to my family and friends in philly but just felt I needed a change. After being here a year I really do love the weather, ppl are friendlier, I am definitely into the healthy life style here etc...but I have this loneliness that I just can't shake. Everyday I go back and forth in my mind, do I want to stay or go back? It is the hardest decision/feeling I have ever had. I love san diego, I hate philly, but I miss my parents and friends so much. I don't know what else to say...

BB 20 months ago

I am going through the same things as you guys apart from i have only moved 2 and and a half hours away. I am sooooooo close to my parents and love them with all my heart. I love the North of England where i am from and hope i go back. My bf got a job in the Midlands area and thought this might be a chance for me to break away from routine. Ive found out now though that i like routine which is crazy. I have moved back home twice since April when we moved down here. When i do move back home i feel empty because i am away from my boyfriend but feel whole in another sense that i am in my comfort zone and safe because i am living with my parents. When i move down here at 1st i think its a great idea then i get a job and i feel that i have no choices and that i have to stay down here and it makes being away from home real. I hate waking up down here and doing the simple things like getting my breakfast in a strange kitchen that doesnt feel homely. My boyfriend works long hours so i feel like i am here alone sometimes. All i keep doing aswell is going over and over in my mind that i should never had said i should move back down here....i had an interview up North that i turned down to come here and i regret it and keep torchuing myself by thinking what if i got that job...id have been happy. I feel like my whole world has been turned upside down and i get panic attacks because of it. Im heading back up home tomorrow and im really worried about the feelings i will have when i return back down here. I try and comfort myself by saying i shall go back home every week but then i get thoughts that my room back home isnt going to feel the same....really stupid things like that enter my mind. I feel like i am missing out on something being down here. It just isnt me....im a Norhtern girl all the way. Im deff going to live back up North in the nxt 6 months as i just cant cope with being away from there :( i really wish i was one of those people that can just get on with situtaions like this. I do have a great job down here that i started a week ago and its going really well and ive made some great friends. The good thing is that i can get a transfer with the company back up North when i need to as there is many stores throughout the UK. Im hoping my boyfriend will find another job back up North too....i can truely understand the phrase 'theres no place like home'

Elizabeth 19 months ago

I am a single mom of two boys, aged 3 and 4. Me and their father seperated only a few months ago. He wants to get back together. I only have a g.e.d and no real expeirence in any feild, always been a stay at home mom. I really want to move to California to go to the only college in the U.S that gives hands on training to be an exotic animal trainer, He said he will move with me but im not so sure its what I want. I am so lost and confused, I want to go to this school more than anything in the world, but I have no clue how I am going to support my children If I am a full time student let alone find and pay for childcare. minimum wage here in Tucson is 7.25 an hour and housing here is 500-800 for a 2bdrm, researching cali, minimum wage is only 8.00 an hour and 1bdrm are 900-1200 a month, how can anyone survive out there?? and how can I work and go to school, pay my bills, and pay for childcare to work and go to school?? I havent a clue what to do, any advice..tips.. or valuable experience with a situation similar to mine would be more than helpful!!! thanks

Katherine 19 months ago

I am 22 years old and moving from Texas to Illinois to live with my fiance, he lives 920 miles away. I will be moving away from my 8 member family plus nieces and my pets. The dramatic change going the is feeling out of place with different people, different life style and not to mention it is really cold compared to Texas. I am worried about getting a job there.. getting my own car and my own place all alone, or even buying food. I even start to panic and break down crying when I have thoughts of leaving my family. Sometimes I believe it is too much.

Kate 18 months ago

We are looking at making a international move, everything looks great about it except taking our kids away from their granparents. They are 1 and 2 and have a very close realationship with them. This guilt is stopping us from telling them, we feel aweful, but we do live in the hope that they may follow us.

Sophie 18 months ago

I'm also in a similar situation. I turn 19 next week and i'm going to be moving out next year to live with my fiance and go to University. I'm so scared that I will be away from my family who I am incredibly close to, especially my 3 year old sister. I don't know how I will cope without my family around me.

Alexandra 18 months ago

I was born in Poland and moved to Canada with my parents when I was 5 years old. I am now 25, and my parents want to move back to Poland. My parents are the only family I have in Toronto; if they leave, I will be all alone. I have friends, a job and school keeping me in Toronto. But its my parents...my immediate family. Now I'm confused... should I stay in Canada or go back home with my parents?

Lynda 17 months ago

This was a good article. My partner and I are fed up with the daily grind of living in a big city, and are considering making a sea change to an area where we could live mortgage free, work part time and raise a family by the beach. Sounds perfect right? But what about my family who will miss out on watching their first grandchild grow and learn? What about all of our friends... what if we cant make new friends? What if our goal of spending more time together actually ends up driving us apart because we are spending TOO much time together? I am scared to do it, but I am scared if we dont do it we will miss a good opportunity. If only we could take all of our family and friends with us. :-(

cheie 15 months ago

WE HAVE OUR OLNY DAUGHTER AND HER HUSBAND MINSTER AND OUR 15 OLD MONTH BABY MOVING A 2 AND HALF HOURS FROM US. IT IS REALLY KNOWING ONCE THEY MOVE WE CANT SEE OUR BABY GRANDCHILD EVERY DAY. REALLY SAD

Richard 15 months ago

Thanks for the article. I think for everyone, the reaction of family to one member moving away is as different as families themselves are. In my case, it has been terrible. I grew up in Illinois and have lived in a variety of different places, all outside of driving distance to Illinois. Despite my attempts to visit 5-6 times a year (don't have kids but are thinking about it), the connection is lost. My family blames me for moving away, even though they can't bring themselves to say it out loud. They have only visited me a handful of times in the many years since I left, yet they take many vacations to Florida, Alabama, and Texas.

I contrast this with a friend. He grew up in a military family, so travel was always a part of their life. I saw them recently all together; they currently all live apart across the country. What a difference! You could tell that distance could not keep them apart. Whatever time they could share, they always made the most of it.

Moving away is always hard for young people, and many give up and end up moving back. There is nothing wrong with that. But many times in life, following your path may require leaving the nest. Don't believe that once you have accepted the distance and the limitations it places on you, that your family will be so accepting. They likely won't articulate it - it's doesn't sound good to say yet we are all people prone to emotion - but over the years it will become obvious through their actions. What to do in this situation? Who is to say. I guess that is for everyone to figure out for themselves. At the very least, if you find yourself in this situation, don't expect this part of your life to get any easier.

Chelcea 15 months ago

Im 19 and my boyfriend moved here with me and left all his family to move to a completely different state to be with me. We have been together for 3 and a half years and I love him more than anything and couldn't even imagine my life without him. Well he wants to move back home to be with his family which I understand because I feel it's my turn to go. I'm scared to death to leave my family because I have never been away from them and also my sister just moved out like 5 states away cause her husban is in the army. I feel like I'm leaving my mom alone although she has my dad and two brothers. She gets really sad when I talk about leaving and I'm scared to leave her cause I'm the one who is always there for her and I always have her back. But I'm also scared of my boyfriend going and me staying because I don't want to be alone and yea my family loves me but not like he does. I'm torn between the two and I almost just wish I could get in a wreck or something so I don't have to worry about it :-( I'm so lost

Balli 15 months ago

Really, what is written by all of my friends, its really true.i am going to tell you my little story that i was living fantastic life with my wife and others members of my family.one day i got offer of good job from vietnam multi national country.i decided to resign existing company and join new one in vietnam, but my wife was not agree to live apart from me as first one year , wife was not allowed to send with me.then we think to dont kick this oppurtinities and can to live one year seperately.then i come to vietnam, First 2 weeks, i felt that i am lucky one to join this company and there is a lot of hubs to enjoy.But after 2 weeks all these things make me feel too alone and realize that i am nothing without my family.even i knew that i am here and doing the job for make my family so luxrious.Heart say Go back , money is not everything and live with yours family happily and you will get enough atleast 3 times of food well .But Mind say ,"contineous yours job here, one year of difficulties make yours life so easier for whole life.

Mean to say that, sometimes situation make the such circumstances , you have to be do that things , which you ever want.Family is such things which let you to stay closer with family, because of love and also let you to stay apart in order to give them good life.

I am here since 2 month and count down for completion of one year, so that i can call my wife and live together happily.

Thank you

Sophie 14 months ago

I moved 530km away from my hometown to be with my fiance. We met in a carribean all iclusive vacation and fell in love. We dated long distance 5 months and I moved in with him. Coming from a strict european family, they were not pleased. Different culture, different values, different lifestyle. My hometown is alive, friendly, people work to live (but still have their savings on the side).. where I am now, almost 3 years later, people are cold, it's only about money, it'd hard to meet people, they live to work...

I still have no friends, I feel so lonely, I am miserable here... I don't visit home often becase everything is so damn expensive where I live so it's not a priority for us right now :(

He doesn't have friends that hang out with their spouses... occasionaly he will go out with a buddy for a drink but never with the girlfriends... I am used to guys and girls hanging out where I come from... Ohhh I miss get togethers for game nights, dinner, drinks, bbqs

I used to have 4 choices of what to do on a saturday night, I found myself going to karaoke by myself, going to a bar for a drink alone and walk in the city, downtown solo....

He wouldn't move to my city because language barrier..

It's eating me up beacuse I do love him

Christian 14 months ago

Hi Sophie,

I really feel your pain! I met my wife in the Bahamas during an all inclusive work trip! She was on vacation and we just hit it off! Of course, she ended up being from NY and I live in California. We decided to keep in touch and kept a long distance relationship going for 2 months. She was then let go from her job in NY and decided to come visit me for 1 month. She came to live with me and after a month decided to stay. She did so because initially I told her that I would possibly move back to NY with her! We got engaged after 3 months and married 14 months later. We have now been married for 14 months and have an amazing 3 month old daughter. Sadly, we fight constantly about where we will end up living. I really love California and do not want to ever leave! She is from a very little town in NY and I simply cannot get myself to like that type of lifestyle! I hate the idea of having to live in a little town in NY, let alone have to leave California. However, she is incredibly home sick and constantly brings up all the things she misses about NY (family,friends, the city, the seasons, small back roads, etc). We are both very stuck in our ways. She doesn't think she can be happy here and I know I will never be happy in NY! It's such a tough situation that should have been dealt with before we got married! Now we have a child, which makes everything so much more difficult. My advice to anyone is to take things slow, learn everything about one another and talk things out before making a commitment. Sophie, I wish you the best and I hope everything works out for you.

Yvonne Murphy 13 months ago

2 years ago I moved from Edmonton Alberta to Candle lake Sask. in Canada. We sold our home in Alberta and came to retire beside a lake. It is a 6 hour distance not like I can go ever week-end. I am 62 years old and this was the hardest thing I have ever done. We are one hour from Prince Albert so again the distance for a job is too much. Nothing feels familiar I had to start from scratch to make new friends I feel lost. My husband just loves it here. The winters are very cold and bleak, there is nobody that lives here in this subdivision in the winter. Hopefully we will move back to my home where I am familiar with my surroundings, friends and family.

dee 12 months ago

it was lovely to read this article and all your responses. I am from america, went to medical school in ireland, met my boyfriend and decided to stay, well have stayed so far but don't know what to do in the future. i think you are right family is family and nothing will ever replace it. on one side is my boyfriend, who is loving and caring and incredibly supportive; and my friends whom i love, who have become like family and the fact that i absolutely love it here. on the other hand is my family, my parents who still haven't accepted the fact that i have stayed here for so long, can not cope with the idea that i might stay here for good, i love them so much and my brother. the idea of my children grow up not knowing them, kills me. every elderly patient i see, it makes me think that that will be my parents in so many years time, n to not be there for them when they are old and fragile it hurts. the guilt is absolutely eating me up. i know i want to stay here for me. but i want to go back for my parents and their relationship with my kids, when i have them. will i be happy leaving behind an amazing man, my friends and a place i have grown to love? will i be happy staying in ireland for all the above, but being separated from my family, my parents who have given me everything i could have asked for, my brother who loves me and supports me? somehow it feels like i'll never be happy because i'll always miss something very incredibly close to me. i have to make the choice soon, it's just so tough.

emi 12 months ago

thank you very much for that article and all the responses... I've just had a huge fight with my bf about where to live after getting married. Im from Poland but living and working in the UK. He is from India and he plans to stay in Singapour or Australia. I don't want to live so far away from my family - I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers, we are very close to one another. He blames me that people who love each other would do anything and I prefer my family over him. I love him too but I already feel I will not be able to live so far away in a totally different world. I feel so upset and disgusted with myself...had I truly loved him I would have left my family....

Mary 12 months ago

Wow, all of these comments hit home with me too. I left a bad situation with my husband last summer. I moved from FL to GA. I left behind my husband, adult children, and my grandson who I helped raise to four years old. I now have a 2 month old granddaughter. My mom, sister, and brother all moved to GA and TN recently, and I have aunt, and cousins here too. Not long after I moved to GA, my husband and I started reconnecting and it was planned for me to move back to FL. I was excited at first, but then I got worried about whether I would want to be back there again. I love GA..like a previous poster said, the windy roads, change of seasons, tall tall trees, and friendly people. Plus my mom is here and I want to be here for her too. I had this illusion that my husband and kids would follow me here, but so far just my youngest son of 18 years is here now. So when I had the opportunity to move back with the same job I panicked on the last day and said no. Now I have a change of heart cause I don't want to miss my grandchildren and want to work it out with my husband. But my husband feels like it may take 5 years or so to be able to move back again. I am having a commitment problem with that. I can't seem to make myself see the positives of being in FL, and missing my mom and family up here. So confused and everyday I am torn over the best decision to make. Does anyone have any advise.

viper 10 months ago

Yeah I just turned 18 and I'm moving from the east coast to california in search of a job and I'm extremely close to my family and everything. Lately I've been feeling really down thinking, oh, this is the last time I'll cut the lawn.. that stuff makes me so sad.

My parents are really special to me, and I do have some pretty close family where I'm going, it's not like I have my mom there or anything, so it will definitely be tough. One reason I want to go is because when I went out there a few times, I could really see myself living there and enjoying myself. There were so many awesome and nice people! Also, here at home, I can't seem to get a job, especially in my field anywhere. Also, being home I just wanna lounge around, watch some tv, go on the internet, have a snack. While that's great, I think it might hold me back in the end because I may never feel like getting a job and really going anywhere, and I really want to make something of myself. If in the end It doesn't work out, I'll move back home. I'm just taking this year off to try and find myself. If I cant make it out there I'll start over from scratch, after college of course.

Living on my own.. having to work and eventually go to school too, It's gonna be a big change and I don't know if I can handle it. I just hope being able to connect so easily these days makes it easy to stay in touch with everyone.

Mandy 9 months ago

My husband & I are going to be moving to Philly from South Florida. I never wanted to raise a family down here and my husband owns a business in Philly and it just makes sense for us to go there. I am excited and open for he change but I fear the weather and climate there since all I know is sunshine. But my biggest thing is leaving my parents. It breaks my heart and the guilt I feel is horrible but isn't this my life to lead and learn from? I'm just so scared that the minute I live there I will want to go back home to Florida. I try to look at it that life is a journey and I should take this journey. I feel so many different emotions. It was great reading everyone's comments. I pray and hope my decision to leave home is the right decision.

Amanda 8 months ago

Im 19 and am moving to California with my boyfriend (his home) in 2 hours. Ive lived in Colorado my whole life.Im super close with my mom and sister. And this is tearing me apart. I have been preparing for this move for the past 6 months, and yet i dont feel ready at all. I get excited sometimes, and then i get really depressed. Im used to going to my parents every Sunday for dinner. Sometimes i would stop by my moms work just to talk. And knowing that I wont be able to see her or my sister for a while kills me. I dont think my mom is happy with life. She doesnt think her bond with my little sister is as close as ours (shes a daddys girl) and she isnt completely happy with her marriage (or so it seems) and she drinks every night. I feel like if I leave, she wont have anyone to be close to. (not to say she isnt close with my sister. but my sister is 13, so shes in that weird stage) I said goodbye to my family just 2 hours ago, and am now in the living room while they sleep thinking about how sad they were and how I am not going to be there when my little sister needs advice or wants to talk. Talking on the phone isnt the same as actually being close to your family. Nothing could make me feel excited about moving right now...I just want my family to be happy.

I wish I could take them with me.

Emma 8 months ago

I know exactly how this feels. I decided I wanted to move to Canada from the UK, on my own, four years ago and started the immigration process. I am 38 and thought I was old enough to cope with moving 3000 miles away from my Dad/family. I was looking forward to it right up until I got my visa through, but this is when the dream became reality and my life came crashing down around me. I got to two weeks before moving to Nova Scotia in Canada and had massive panic attack and bailed out. I then ended up with severe depression and anxiety due to the feeling like I had lost my dreams and future happiness. It has now been a year since I should have followed my dream and moved and I am still so torn inside, do I stay close to my Dad/family or do I take a chance and move to a place I love, on my own, this is so so scary. I think it is partly living on my own in another country without any support network that freaks me out. I feel like a coward and want to be brave enough to do this, but do not know how to do this without feeling like I am falling apart, but I do not want to stay living in the same town I live in now, as I do not like it here- the only reason I am staying is for family and I do not know if this is good enough.....

joanne 7 months ago

oh man I thought i was the only one who cant cope with leaving her childhood state.I thank you so much for the advice and the careing you obviously showed.even though its to late for me I still would like to tell my story.I lived up until Iwas 19 in my precious CALIFORNIA.Then one day met a great guy and got married overseas and came back to stinky michigan.going to michigan was his idea because its cheaper to live out here and he has a brother here that helped us get started.well its been almost 6 years and 3daughters later and i am close to going insane some times.The reasons are the weather here is terrible where we have 3 months of warms and 9 months of house confinding snow and even in "summer"theres always thunderstorms.Then the people out here are so depressing and unfit.you barely see anybody jog or ride abike let alone do any adventures callenging activites outdoors.But the main thing that is driving me nuts is family and friends.Ibeing the oldest of seven siblings am dying for them.ALSO wanting my daughtrs to have the great memories Idid .oh and mostly my mother pasted away when Iwas a teen makes me want to hold on to that place that we were toghether.My husband is getting more and more resistant to move back because he says that my family is not willing to help us out and he as the provider must look for the wellbeing of our children,but dont my feelings count.We never ever have arguiments only when the hot word {california}comes up.so Idont no what to do but Ifeel my times is running out and if Icant grow old around my family then Icant imagine me living.so the comennt posted by salsaletty62 made me realize that im not the only fool but better plan an escape before I get any older.If anyone has any advice post it and my advice to any one thinking about making a big move DONT.youll just be miserable by yourself and after time even your family will forget you but you wont cuz your the one that left.biggest mistake of my life dont make it yours!

Jessica 7 months ago

i'm really glad that i found this. I'm 19 and soon i'll be moving to Texas to be with my boyfriend. i dont have any family out there. Everyone and everything i have ever known is here in Illinois. Almost everytime i think of leaving my mom and my brothers and sisters, i start crying. it tears me apart but there just isnt anything here for me. i also think that it is time for me to "leave the nest" and start my own life, but it scares me so bad. what about when i just need to talk to my mom about something. i wont be able to do that. skype and phone calls dont replace the actual contact that you have with real family. i just dont know what to do. i wanna move so i can be with him and start my life, but im just worried and terrified to leave my mom.

melodyandes 7 months ago

Very inspiring hub. Thanks for sharing your story.

Scott 7 months ago

I'm going to be 18 in about a month and a half. I moved from NY to FL when I was 14. I was moved back to NY(unwillingly), with my younger sister because my mother(with whom I first moved with) was abusing parental powers. I live with my dad(who is as bad as my mom but an alcoholic). Long story short, my step dad(the only family member I'm relatively "close" too) offered me the chance to live with him but I'd have to leave my sister behind in Ny while I go to Florida. I'm worried about how she'll fend against my dad's uncertainty and overall novice parenting abilities.

My sister is the only blood relative that I truly have, as most of my family is estranged from our black-sheep label. I could honestly use some serious help with this because nobody understands the severity of hardship her and I are exposed to because of my parents. My dad will be ruthless if I'm not here to keep him at bay. It's a long and ridiculously complicated story, hence my lack of detail, but believe me when I say how unusually cruel this idea of a family is here and all of the things I've done to make life survivable. I don't want her to be alone( and if I leave that will happen, BUT, If I don't leave than I'll lose the only chance I may get to make something of my life). Has anyone personally experienced anything remotely like what I've described? You're thoughts on this would be whole heartedly appreciated. Thank you.

Paul 6 months ago

It's been real interesting to read these. I feel like a wishy washy person that can't make his mind up. It's comforting to know I'm not just crazy, but a lot of other people experience these same feelings.

Last year was sailing along nicely. I owned a modest house in Milltown, NJ, was engaged, had two dogs. My sister, aunt, uncle, cousins, grandma all within 2 hrs. drive. As our wedding was drawing closer the distance between us kept growing, and the fighting increased to the point of postponing the wedding, then breaking up. It was a crazy, rough time.

As soon as I wasn't tied to my house anymore I decided I had to get away. I needed a fresh start. My best friend lives in Long Beach, CA. I've visited a few times. I always had a good time there. I'm a very mellow guy, and I dig the attitude, friendly vibes of the West. I transferred with my company. Upon arrival I felt like turning around. I liked my job in Jersey, but hated the LA area version. I thought a lot about rarely seeing my sister and family from then on. I decided to make plans to transfer back. Got an apt. for a few months and was able to set up another transfer to my old job. In the meantime I had fun when I wasn't working. Went sky diving, lot of skateboarding and bike riding, great bars w/in biking or walking distance, took up yoga, met some great friendly, open-minded friends. When the time to leave came I was unsure and I ended up staying and cancelling the transfer. Thought about being single in LB vs. NJ. LB is a better social scene. Expensive though. I can't imagine when I'd be able to afford a house here. NJ isn't exactly awe inspiring. Don't want to live in an apt. indefinitely. Weather's great. Freaky though that it just doesn't rain here.

Even though I cancelled my transfer my mind goes back and forth. My parents aren't living so I thought this would be easier, but I miss my sister and aunt a lot. I want to have a family and share that experience with my family. If I stay here that just wont be, and I know if I meet someone here it's not reasonable to expect them to leave their comforts to suit me.

Such a crossroads. Feels like one of the most difficult points in my life. Interesting, but difficult.

Thanks for letting me share.

Nina 6 months ago

Wow I definitely feel the emotions people are going through/have been through. I'm supposed to make the final decision as to whether or not I want to take an offer for a job with my company out of state on the east. I've always wanted to head out to that area and my dream seems to be coming true. But I had that moment when I thought.. Wow I'm going to be leaving my family and home here on the west. I recognize I will be able to have everything I want in the east, but I won't have the comfort of being around my parents and siblings. That thought alone breaks my heart. But I also remind myself.. At one point I will move away. Whether near or far, I will need to construct my own home. A home for my future family. It is very likely my family will eventually relocate with me. So I must have patience and really set the path for a potentially better future fir them. Life is all about sacrifices. And hey, I'm in my mid-20's so if it doesn't work out, I can come back. My family will always be here. Things will work out. I just have to make sacrifices if I want to create something better for myself, my immediate family, and my future. I'll definitely update on my status tomorrow night.

Adam 6 months ago

Wow, this is a great discussion. I moved from the East Coast to the West in 2009, after losing my job through a business closure and being unable to find anything relatively close locally in terms of salary and responsibility. Originally it was suppose to be a 6 month contract, so I thought I would try it out although the thought of leaving the home I had known for 31 years absolutely killed me. I packed up my truck and just drove. At that time, I knew career was way to important and I tried to look at it as an experience. Although inititally not liking things on the West, I started to get more and more comfortable and even extended my contract multiple times. After a year and a half, I had an opportunity to move back East to a city very close to home, where I could see family on a regular basis. I took the opportunity and have been having a blast being back home. Unfortunately, the economy here has affected the start up I work company I work for an the earnings never quite materialized (I was on a small base salary, with majority commission). So now, only 7 months since returning home and falling in love with my city, home state and reconnecting with friends and family, I'm forced with a difficult decision. As in 2009, I've looked locally for work in my field and although the search just started not long ago, have not been able to find employment with a decent salary/work I would enjoy. Opportunities are coming up across the country for me, and I check the job boards every day considering another big move. On a positive move, my first move West turned out to be a very enjoyable experience (except the homesick which came up time to time) and I look back on my time away from home with fond memories. Now that I'm settled back East though, and loving being close to home, the thought of moving away is a tearing me apart as well. I'm in my 30's and to settle down close to family. I'm thinking of toughing it out here and trying to stay positive...network, apply for as many jobs as possible, and see what happens, but I am putting resumes out across the country in case things don't come together here. Career means so much to me, and I didn't go to school for so long to be stuck in a dead end job. It sounds like a lot of you are in maybe a similar boat....career vs. home/family. Tough decision. Thanks for letting me post my thoughts and good luck to all of you in a similar situation (oh, I'm not married and without kids so it's easier for me to relocate)

jane 5 months ago

You are all so pathetic

Adam 5 months ago

Thanks for your insight "Jane". The fact you took the time and made the effort to write that proves who is the pathetic one.

Adam 5 months ago

Thanks for your insight "Jane". The fact you took the time and made the effort to write that proves who is the pathetic one.

Tim 5 months ago

Sack up people.

Bill 5 months ago

I ran across this site while sitting in a coffee shop.  I can really relate to things of this subject.  It will be twelve years next month that I left my home.  And though some people here seem to find pineing for home to be pathetic or weak only speaks of their narrow character and lack of empathy.  I came here because of an immature cocky young man with focus on more money and an adventure for himself and his family.  Unbeknownst to him was a journey that he would spend the entire time away looking in the mirror every morning at a face of regret.  Once here and almost 2500 miles away I was resigned to the fact that I had made a commitment to starting a new life and I needed to make the best of it.  But when I look back, I know that prior to the drive I was already having regrets.  But I had quit my job, sold my house and taken a job a world away.  The Father that drove me nuts my whole life rode along with me.  I thought that it would be a long hard drive.  But instead of what I had anticipated being a very bad idea, there was a man riding alongside me that became my friend and finally showed himself as a Father.  We laughed, we talked, we played goofy games along the drive.  I learned things about him I did not know.  And I think that he learned about me also.  When I dropped him off in Phoenix to stay at a hotel, to catch his plane back to Ohio the next morning he said something to me that I will never forget. "I am not behind this, but I am behind you".  Those words still choke me up to this very day.  My Father said so much to me in so few of words.  I do not know how that I drove the rest of the way to Yuma trying to see through a continuous sheet of tears.  On the drive out I remember thinking how much fun that I was having with my Dad.  How for the first time in my life I actually felt close to him.  Every day that I have been here I have hated it.  This will never be and has never been home to me.  I came out here for all the wrong reasons.  One of them being money.  And though I make really good money, all I have done is spend it to fill the void in my life that I have had since the day I arrived here.  I have never felt as though I would stay here.  But I really believe that I was sent here by a divine intervention to do something and to learn some very valuable lessons.  Now 12 years later it has all come to a head and I know that it is time to go.  Things have changed in my job and even though I moved into management very quickly it was all for a reason to do something not just for myself but that will impact many others that I have worked with and may even affect how they choose someone in leadership from now on.  My boss made an attempt to ruin me and place blame on me for things that existed before I took the job.  I stood up for myself and won.  And it is going to change things.  For the better.  That part of my journey is done.  I have learned my lessons that the young man who arrived here 12 years ago did not understand.  And that was what we truly need to place value on, and what it is in life that we truly need.  Our family & friends.  How easily I forgot that I had spent an entire lifetime building those relationships and one day walked away thinking that I would find it again way out here.  Not true.  Lesson learned.  We all have reasons for making changes in our lives.  Some people have no choice but to make a change.  And that is different.  But myself, I already had everything that I needed in my life.  And I moved 2500 miles away to learn it.  Before anyone ever decides to do something like I have done, think about what I have said.  We are all different and have our reasons for what we do.  Just make sure you know what you are about to do.  It is not just about you.  It is like a stone in a pond.  Once it is dropped it resonates beyond our sight.  And it may not show the affect right away but we will feel it eventually.  None of us are pathetic or have a need to "sack up", we just need to look at the whole picture and focus on if it is the right thing to do.  12 years later, I am ready to return.  And it is all I want.  It is time.  Say a prayer for me.  This is going to be tough.  But if I can help you learn from a true perspective of what I have learned, it will be my lesson passed on to you.  I wish you the best of luck in your decision.  Hopefully it will be the correct one that will come with no regrets.  12

Kathryn 4 months ago

dfds

Kathryn 4 months ago

I moved 2.5 hours away from family to be with husband due to his job, which is very competitive. I didn't know it would work out that way - it just did. He has spent the last 5 years trying to get the job of his dreams (barrister) and all through that time I wanted to move nearer my parents as my Mum was ill and my Dad is older. I am an only child and was very close to my parents. When we got married 3 years ago we moved to his parents house in Essex 3 hours away from my parents so he could concentrate on making applications. Then he got the job 2.5 hours from parents in the other direction. Three months ago my Mum died suddenly, aged 69. I'd lived away from home for 11 years. I feel so guilty and angry with my husband. I wish I hadn't moved away. I wish I'd gone back sooner, before I'd got married, when it became apparent how difficult it would be for husband to get a job anywhere near my parents. Now he says he can't move from here, and my father, who is 80, is alone. Though my Dad says its not a problem and wants me to make my marriage work, I really resent my husband and hate it here - no friends and no job. I don't know what to do - I am so miserable. What should I do? To all those who think you can just go back whenever you want, you can't - your parents don't live forever. Please, think long and hard about how you'll feel when your parents die - it happens sooner than you think.

Katie 4 months ago

Man this really hit me where it counts. The battle between love and the significant other and if thats enough to drown out your feelings of homesick.

When I was a teenager I hated where I came from, wanted nothing to do with it. So I moved 8hrs(flight-wise) out to Southern California for a guy I met online. He was the same age. Things were great at first and then it came time for us to both find jobs, and he was still in school and we were both really too young. After 8months it was nothing but argueing and finding things going on behind my back and his. So I moved back home.

While I was there I met another guy online and he and I became very close. We dated online for two years, split up for a while and I moved down south(22hr drive from home) for about 3 months. Things didn't go well down there, while I loved the area the man I was staying with was no good. During that time I kept in very close contact with my previous ex. I now live with him and his family on the east coast. His parents and I don't really see eye to eye on anything. Every day is spent "saving-face" with the future in-laws. He and I are still not married, its been 3yrs here living with them.

Being much older now than I was before, its hard being away from family. Missing out on the birth of my neice, major surgeries, my grandfather almost passing away, just makes me die a little inside because I can't be there. Having not been close to my family in my teen years and now desperately wishing to make up for my behavior before. Luckily my job and parent's finances allows me the chance to visit every 6months but one wonders how long that can go on before it becomes a real hassle .

Things are okay, he knows I'm saddened @ being so far from family, but he is also very close to his family. Luckily no children yet, still no marriage either, I wonder if those two would help but like many these days neither of us are in the position to do either.

Numerous times I have contemplated moving back home, it wouldn't be difficult as far as actually getting there and finding a job, so much as its difficult for me right now to tell if his love is enough for me to be happy here or if I just need to go home and start over. He won't answer when I ask about moving home with me. Can't say I like where we sit at the moment, but eventually a decision has to made. I just hope I have the strength to do it. Choosing between the man I love or the family and place I grew up with.

Sam 4 months ago

Articles are very nice. Graduated college few months ago and just moved my third time in 6 months to nj. From living in hawaii a month to cambodia for few weeks, then training in minnesota then back to boston then to nj, i never knew how much I have learned and what kind of person I am. There is always some opportunity cost in traveling and living away from family. I am soo close to my family and when I left it was tough but they say they will always come to visit and not be like their parents were when they moved away. It is January and they only visited once and I only live 4 hours away.... I always viist them but its tough to make the effort especially with cousins who do not care about your career or to see you.. or a brother who has never visited me on my travels. I always put family first and it takes two to make it work.. A young 23 professional with a professional family, and brother who have all the time in the world..do not realize how much it would mean if they would viist me or have an interest in my life.. I am happy to live away from home, but when people are not happy for u or feel same way is rough but I stick with my gut each day and remember who i am and do my best for people.. I have always wanted to live in cambodia or somewhere exotic or warm,,, whats 2 months..3 months 4 months.. I live 4 hours away what makes if i am across the world. Life is interesting and family is a too. We can always go back to family because they are always happy when we visit, they may be just to tired from work, or just not motivated for the drive, but I am a hospitality person and i make the effort and put people over my emotions, attitude., and busy life. I have many dreams and goals, live my life.. knock out each goal every day and just remember amd hope family does not change

Mary 4 months ago

It is so refreashing reading your stories because I have been dealing with my move. I met a guy on eharmony and he lived up north 24hr car drive 6hr flight away...I never tried long distance relationship before because I never wanted to leave Texas. I never expected to find such a great guy so far away and after three months of dating we started to talk about moving to be together. He tried to convince me that financially it would be smarter for me to move to him because he owned his home and had a good paying stable job. I was just graduating with my Masters and about to start my career. So I decided to try to move to him and give our relationship a good chance. We got engaged at four months and a few weeks later I moved to live with him. Needless to say things have not worked out how we planned. I have been here for 6months and havent found a job, bills are piling up, and I have no family or friends. I hate the weather and scenery here. I am so homesick and depressed to be away from my support system. I am so close to my mom and he has health problems and it does scare me that something bad could happen and Im missing out on so much. Being depressed has affected our relationship and we are always fighting becuase Im just not myself here. I dont like two of his close friends because they are rude insensitive people, and me and his parents are so so I suppose. He is close to his family and he doesnt want to leave them...so I feel that if I decide to go home then thats it with this relationship. Its so hard because I wanted things to work and I never expected that this move was going to take such a toll on me. My fiance tries to understand where I am coming from but he is not willing to move to Texas for me and that makes me questions his love for me. I moved for him but its not working out...why wouldnt he move for me? We recently argued because he wanted me to go with him to his parents and I just didnt feel up to it so he felt that I was being disrespectful because I wasnt going to his parents house...really? After arguing he took my engagement ring from my box and left. He said that he wasnt going to give it back until I started to show him I love him and that just blew my top. I havent been as loving and I have pushed him and everything here away because it doesnt fit me but really taking my ring? It makes me just want to give up because I cant deal with this stress especially not that I am here alone with no support. I have no clue what to do?

Alyssa 4 months ago

Wow, it is great to know that so many people share the same feelings that I have.

Last year I was 20, I moved from the mid-north coast of NSW to be with my bf in VIC. I never really had many friends, so to me family meant everything. I used to go shopping with my mum every weekend, go on road trips and outdoor adventures with my dad all the time. My house was perfect and the location..5 minutes away from the beach, laid back and friendly community, lush waterfalls, so much wildlife and spirit. My family is so supportive and caring, they wouldn't hesitate to do anything for me.

I met my bf online and after months of chatting he made the first move to visit me. After several other visits, I made the decision to move to VIC to stay with him and his family. At the time, I thought it would be an awesome experience. I left behind everything, even my cat who I was so very close to - who just died and I found out was very sick the last year that I was away and I was not there for him. VIC is very cold, the western suburbs are flat, lifeless and dull. My bfs family dynamics are very strange. It feels they value money more than love. The whole family just built a brand new house and are tackling a mortgage which is beyond their means. They are constantly complaining about money issues, they drink excessivley, it doesn't feel like home.

My bf loves me, and even says he wants to marry me. I have told him how I feel about being away from home, and he says I have the emotion of a 13 year old and am too dependant. That is not true. When I lived at home, I worked 2 jobs and was studying at Uni. Oh I forgot to mention I had to stop my vet degree half way becuase of the move, and did not get into the VIC uni so I just lost my dream career.

I am so set on moving back, but my bf hates Sydney, and will never move there. I love him, I feel like I will never meet anyone who will love me like he does again if I leave. I have been stressed and heartbroken over this issue for the entire year. I need some advice or for someone to point me in the right direction because I don't know what to do. I am scared that I move back to NSW, I will be miserable that I have left the man of my dreams.

Mary 4 months ago

Alyssa, thanks for sharing your story here as well...i wrote mine just above yours. I wish I could give you advice or help but Im in the same situation. Its a really difficult place to be when you love someone and think that they are so right for you but you have to sacrafice family and comfort to be with them. My fiance doesnt seem like he will ever move to Texas for me and that kills me because I have really been stuggling here in PA, and I dont know how to shake this depressed mood. Its hard to find a job and even more difficult to make friends of my own. When we argue, I am literally here all alone...I cant take that. Im a strong person but its hard to deal with things with no family or friends to turn to, there is no support system here for me.

Your bf saying that your emotions are that of a 13 year old is not very considerate. I have my masters in counseling and I know that what you and I are going through is an adjustment disorder mine with depressed mood...and its not something that your bf should ignore. If he loves you and you love him, you need to have a serious conversation with him about what the both of you see in your near future and you need to try to express your feelings with eachother honestly. If he is not understanding or concern with your emotional well being then you really need to wonder about how the rest of your life with him is going to be.

Even though my fiance doesnt seem willing to move to Texas, he has tried very hard to be supportive and try to make me comfortable and he listens when I cry and when I get sad and he tries to comfort me. Unfortunately my mood just has made me a different person and Im not who he fell in love with and its weighing on our relationship.

Do what your mind and heart can agree on. Its so hard because Im in the same situation and I dont know what to do...but know that you are so important and your feelings should be valued. Dont overlook anything now that could be something youll regret later.

Best of luck!

MAR 3 months ago

i hate it

pappastratos 3 months ago

Yeah, we are about to move about 4 hours, plus I am not young! Our neighborhood has been declining plus we have a GIANT strip mine very close by that is causing issues. My & my wife's family are small & scattered. I plan on returning once per month to see son & nephews. It will be fun !

Eric 3 months ago

This article focuses on moving for a significant other to his or her home state. What about the situation where you in transition (without a job) and you have a good job opportunity out-of-state? In our case, we are in the Chicago area and have come upon a great job opportunity in southern California. We are going to make the move because at the end of the day, your job and career put food on the table. What does everyone think about that situation? What is the lesser evil: to try to find a job in your home area and go a year (or longer) without work, or find a job somewhere else in a few months? I have heard that it is always better to be working than not working, but what a gut-wrenching decision.

Jana 3 months ago

This really struck home. My girlfriend and I have been together for a few years; she's in Washington and I'm in California. Ever since we've started dating, she's really been pushing for me to move to WA and has been pressuring me to move more and more lately.

If I move there, I have a job lined up and have a lot of friends there - more friends than I have here in CA, in fact. But all my family is here, I prefer the weather here, and I'm super close to my parents and the thought of leaving them kills me - and that's the clencher. She's the love of my life, and I've talked about this with my parents (who are sad at the thought) and I don't really know what to do.

It's so good to realize I'm not alone.

MiseryInBama 3 months ago

If you are close with your family then don't do it. I love my husband but I am missing out on everything back home.

Nina 3 months ago

I am really close to my parents but an opportunity came up to work in the career path I love. I hate my job here on the west coast. My job offer on the east coast is a big paycut. But I love the field. I hate the thought of leaving mt family. But I do have extended family that I will be living with. Don't know if I'm making the right choice. Freakig out to move 3000 miles away from home. Any input?

Jessica 3 months ago

I moved in November after Thanksgiving and I miss my parents and family so much!! I want to go home. I love my boyfriend but I'm not happy here.I'm so used to seeing my parents practically everyday.And now it's been since November and it's February 11th and I MISS them so much! I'm lonely.I stay home everyday and can't go anywhere. And I have no job. I want to go home.

Matt 3 months ago

The power of family is extremely strong, but what we can easily over look is how overwelming it can also be. Even when you are starting a new family, younger people can become overwelmed with advice and badgering of either their parents and/or inlaws and for some it takes a drastic move far away from that support to really come of age and become that parent or spouse you need to be. Its always great to have a support, however theres a time when we need to take matters into or own hands and become independent. To prove it to our parents and friends that were capibile, but more importantly, to prove it to our selves. Good luck everyone.

Kell 2 months ago

Im 18 and shall be moving from the UK to the netherlands to study with my boyfriend. Im scared not only about finding a place to live to sorting out the legal documents but mostly missing my family. I come from a large family who all live close to eacother. I really want to move, however I feel too scared about not having that comfort. Am i being to soft? Shall i just go for it?

Melissa 2 months ago

Eric - my situation is similar to yours.

Although my fiance and I both have ok jobs in our home state, a better (awesome, frankly) opportunity has come up for me across the country. He would also be able to transfer to a job similar to the one that he has now. The new location has what we're looking for in terms of jobs, neighborhoods, traffic flow, schools, outdoor activities, space to live (more rural as opposed to city), which definitely suits us.

We live in the same city that I grew up in - blocks away from my immediate family - and 2 hours away from his mom and brother. His dad passed away a few years ago unexpectedly and he feels that moving across the country would be like abandoning his mom and brother, in addition to depriving them of seeing us and our potential kids.

My background: military family, moved a couple times when I was young, extended family all over the country, get together at least every couple years, immediate family very close by, but only see them ~once a month, maybe less.

His background: lived in the same town/house/BEDROOM he was born in until finally (after 6 yrs of dating) moving to the city to be with me. He still gets homesick and we visit his mom and brother ~once a month unless the weather is too bad to travel. They've visited us maybe 3 times in the past 2.5 years, btw.

Although I might be a little more independent and comfortable with the idea of living away from my family, I still have reservations, especially since we're thinking of having kids soon. However, I feel like we can't "start our life" being stuck in this town with no money, even though we are close to family (who can't help us financially). What's the point of "staying here for the kids" if we can't afford any kids and it's why we wanted out of this town in the first place?!

My mom is sad that we might be going far away, but is supportive of me and my job and moving on with my life. She's already talking about planning to visit. His mom only wants us to move closer to her, even though there are no jobs in that town and that's why her son moved away (2hrs) in the first place.

As it stands now, his fear of being away from his mom is going to "win" over any argument because he lost his dad so early. He feels a sense of responsibility toward her, which I can't blame him for. So, I'll be giving up my dream to remain "stuck" until we can find jobs in/near his mom's town or (God forbid) she passes away, which I hate to think of because I love her, too and know it would crush my fiance. Then what about his brother, who would then be completely alone?

This job opportunity is perfect for me and I am optimistic about making our life work in this new state, but scared as well. How can I convince him to give it a try without making his fears sound trivial? Can I hold it together and be strong for both of us when I have fears of my own? Who will I turn to if I have to keep reassuring him that it's ok? Will I regret it, resent him and/or his family for "holding us back" if we don't go? Will he/his family resent me for taking him and future grandchildren away if we do?

I feel that we need to take a chance and do what could be best for us and our life together rather than keep clinging to the past. Moving doesn't mean that we have to sever all ties with our families. Maybe I'm just more prepared to do it because I didn't grow up with all of my family in the same town. It would still be hard, but not impossible, as he and his family make it sound....

Just don't know what to do :'(

Abaline 2 months ago

I moved about 1200 miles away from my family about 2 years ago with some friends. I never intended for it to be a perminant move. I was going to have my adventure and eventally move back home to my chldhood friends and family. About 9 months ago I met the most wonderful man. The only person I have ever even seen myself marrying or having a family with. Im so scared of having to choose to be with him or to go back to my family and friends, i miss them very much. But also the though of leaving him leaves me broken hearted... ahhhhhh

homeward1 8 weeks ago

we moved over 2000 miles across the country for work. After over 40 years of living within 10 miles of all of our families, my husband made the decision because his work was going away. It has been very difficult for 6 years. We still do not have friends, have not found the connections we are looking for and I miss my family terribly....My husband still feels this was the best thing because of his job, he has a nicer job now, but I don't believe money is everything. I think in the end, you will not remember how much money you made, but the memories you have made, the impact you have had on other's lives and the impact that they have had on yours. Sorry, but I'm really lonely and miss all the old familiar smells, foods, flowers, trees. It has become complicated now because we earn more money, my sons have homes out here, but they too miss our old family life. Yes, all I can say is be very careful if you are considering moving so far from home. People are not the same in different areas of the country. Maybe it is like being a missionary, I don't know...but I like familiarness.....not being isolated and alone.

Tonya 8 weeks ago

om Gosh, im feeling exactly the same as all you guys. Im moving from the small town of Lynchburg, VA to the metro Maryland/DC area. and yes im scared out of my mind. I have 2 kids ages 6 and 8, and my fiancee is from DC. hes amazing, but he has a good job and wont move from DC to Lynchburg, so thats why we moving. I'll miss my family and friends, and afraid of the cost of living there, which is extremely high, but God is good All The Time, so im putting it all in His hands. good luck to all of you brave souls trying to chase your dreams, or just make a fresh start. i kno its hard, its scary, but WE can do All things through Christ who strenghthens Us.

suzanneqg 8 weeks ago

I am in tears as I read this...I am so homesick, and feel so lost living in upstate ny with my husband. I have a 27 year old son in NC and a daughter in law there. I wished I had never left there. I am so out of sorts here, and have been since I moved back here in June. I have no friends, and I live in such a rural area. I am having such anxiety, and have no one to share this with but you. I have always lived in the south, and I only know the way of the south, such as kindness, empathy, and compassion for people. Up here it is so different. There is not much kindness, and people have so much cold weather here, I can understand why they act the way they do...I struggle up here everyday..with having gas to get to work, which is about 40 miles one way, isnt that nuts? And with no social life at all. I do not belong here, and my husband shows no humility or compassion for me, so I guess what im trying to say is, even if you are thinking about leaving your family and what you have known all your life, think twice...I regret it everyday, and somehow I will get back home. If I dont leave soon, I know I will have a total breakdown...I miss you E and Z..I pray everyday that I will soon be able to afford to leave here, and come back south...thank you for this site..I have at least been able to express my feelings, and I know that I am not the only person that misses their family.

homeward1 7 weeks ago

After reading of most everyone's pain, including my own; I've come to ask myself....can we start some kind of post where we actually could help each other by long distance friendships and words of encouragement? We are looking for our 'old lives'. Some of us my be able to return sooner than others, some may not be able to return. One thing I do know though it that we really hurt and we need to help each other through the struggles. If we are missing old familiar faces and kindness lets start to share that. What are your thoughts?

homeward1 7 weeks ago

I miss my family terribly, but I'm finding strength in your honesty knowing that I'm not alone in my thoughts. I'm encouraged because we all have been fortunate to experience 'the good life'. We have our good memories and no one can take those from us. They may get buried, but we still have them. Maybe we can help encourage others that are struggling like us. Thank you to everyone for your honesty....

Spring is starting, although we just had a huge snowstorm where I live the weekend....but I'm trying to remain encouraged....at least for my adult kids who are trying to recover from this move as well as myself.

Ms confused 6 weeks ago

I am in a very weird place. I lived in Texas met a wonderful man that swept me off my feet from GA. We did the long distant relationship fir 5 months and my job was not going good at all, so I moved to GA I have two older children and all my Family live in Texas. I miss them all so much and feel selfish for moving due to love. I have no friends and people don't seem to be as friendly as I'm use to in Texas. I don't know the area and jobs are very hard to find. I get lost out driving and the only family is his, I don't get home alot because of the cost of airfare. All of this I should have taken it alot slower and seen where it played out. Sometimes I think about going home, but I love him so much. I care for his family they are very good people, but my place and heart will always be in Texas where my children live.

What to do? I feel like I make our relationship hard because he don't understand how much it hurts to miss your family.

He says I can go home, but where would that put us.

What should I do go home and be with my family or stay here in GA and be with the man I love?

Melissa 6 weeks ago

I have so much sympathy for everyone. I am in the same miserable situation as most of you. I moved from California to Tennessee when I was 30 years old with my parents. They wanted to be out of the big city. We all moved, and i found a teaching job and got an apartment. Four months later, my parents decided to move back to CA so my father could get his old job back. I had already met a great guy in Tennessee and I decided to stay. I knew at the time that I should go back with my parents. My heart knew that being close to family is of extreme importance to me....that's why I moved with them in the first place. But my mind told me to "grow up....don't be a baby.....a real grown up would stay in Tennessee for the man she loved". So I listened to that voice 7 years ago and married the guy and stayed in Tennessee and now have a child. I have been miserable ever since. I beg him to move to California, but he won't. Please, those of you who still have a choice.....always, always follow your heart. You know what is best for you. Do not compare yourself to others or what you think others would do in your situation. Trust yourself.

Emily 6 weeks ago

I know how you feel I've lived in Texas all my life and all of my family lives here. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is getting out of the air force in June, I don't know how to tell my father I'm leaving with him to California..it's hard to tell a southern father his youngest daughter is leaving with a man unmarried. I don't really have a plan I just know I love this guy and i think i would hate myself for giving him up. I really just have know idea where to start to let them know that i'll be okay. My sister and my mom keep telling me how could i do this to them and why can't he stay here? To me i don't care where he goes I'm going to be there for him and support him in the best way i can. I just don't know how to show tell them if this is a mistake i need to make and i need their support or their silence. By reading all your post i know its going to be hard and i'm going to miss them but it's human nature to move on and start your own life....right? what do you think?

Joanne 6 weeks ago

I moved out west for a job since there were not a lot of well paying full time jobs where I come from. After two years I have experienced a lot of struggles and I am considering moving back home to go to school. It has not been easy as like everyone else I wanted to be independent. But success cannot replace your relationsip with your family. I worry as my parents are getting older that they will need help and I will not be able to give it to them. That makes me feel extremely guilty. I am now even considering a lower paying,lower status job if it means I can return home. I know I have the support of my family and that they would be very happy if I returned. It just takes a long time to reconcile the decision with yourself.

Molly 6 weeks ago

My husband of 5 years, who I absolutely adore, was just given a promotion, but will need to move to California if he accepts it. Before the promotion, we were planning on trying to get pregnant by the end of the year, but now I'm having reservations. I have 5 sisters who are all my best friends and they all have the most amazing children that I am extremely close to. Not to mention my parents! Thinking about moving 600 miles away is killing me. How can I start my own little family without my sisters and their kids? Uuuuuuuggghhhh....

Victoria 5 weeks ago

I love my fiance so very much and he loves both me and my 3 year old daughter but he lives in alabama and i in florida i want to move over there so badly to finally live together but i dont know how to break it to both my side and my daughters father side of the family i really couls use some advice.

thanks all

Denise 5 weeks ago

What can I say? I am 17,000 miles from home. I moved from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, to the rainny Seattle following my husband on his job relocation at a great tech company. I left my parents, 4 sibblings and 8 nephews and nieces behind. Not mentioning friends, weather, beach, food, music, culture, career and the whole way of life. I miss Christmas, Easter lunch, mother's day, father's day, birthdays, decorations children birthdays, Sunday lunch, family parties... My grandmother just passed away and I am 20 to 30 hours away from the time I board on the airplain.

I wouldn't consider my life miserable, but I don't advise anyone to do the same. I made nice new friends, but they will never replace my family. I have nice experiences, but family experience is not replaced by anything else. We are living here for 4 years now and we didn't get to have our own children. I always loved children and I don't have my own. I love my family children and I miss to see them growing up. If you are family oriented, Think 10 times before moving away to so far. It can be very hard to move back and set up a new job being this distant. But we plan to move back anyways soon, because there is no place like home.

brigitte 4 weeks ago

This is from a parent's perspective.My son moved thousands of miles away to go to college. He promised he would return to the state he had left. That never happened. And to this day, it has been sheer agony. I only see him once a year for a few days; twice a year if I'm lucky. i see my dentist more often.

While i believe in expanding yourself, I also believe that you can do that and stay reasonably close to your loved ones. Here's a guy I raised all my life, find myself a single mother now because of a thoughtless husband and don't even have my son to spend time with at least once a week. It is heartbreaking to me and I'm in acute distress over this everyday of my life. I cannot afford to move to California and so, there is no way out.

My heart is broken and when he does come to visit and then leaves, it is broken even more. Please, sons and daughters, please put proper perspectives in place when making such a big decision.Your parents wont be around forever and jobs, you can get anywhere. Time is something you cannot bring back as well as all the memories of cherished holidays together.Hope this helps someone.

Debra 4 weeks ago

Here's a different one for you guys...

I was raised in Arkansas, in a small town..

10 years ago, after a bitter divorce; I met a man online from Texas, who swept me off my feet..I relocated to Texas with my 18 year old only daughter.

My relationship didnt work out, but my daughter met a young man, married, and had 2 beautiful babies.

2 months ago; after my daughter and son in law divorcI settled in Texas for 10 years, made good friends, but other than my daughter, who had her own life, I felt like I wanted to go back home to Arkansas and I did.

I quit my job in Texas, which I cannot go back to.

I have a good job in Arkansas now, but absolutely hate it here...My family has so many personal issues that I refuse to be involved in...Its great being closer to my Mother, but thats it...

I really want to suck it up, and go back to Texas to my grandchildren and daughter...

Im very prideful,,,and hate for anyone to tell me I made a mistake..I chased a dream of going home, made it work, but made a huge mistake...Any suggestions?

homeward1 4 weeks ago

I feel the pain of Brigitte, but at the same time, have wondered if the same thing would happen to me as did Debra...moving back and everything being dysfunctional and one of your adult kids staying where you had moved to for work. As much as it hurts, at least for now, I'm trying to not dwell on the memories of mom and the siblings, but of my own adult children who are trying to start their lives. Why are things so very complicated? I don't think they were that way for our parents. No one in my family moved away....I was the first...and everyone hated it. The surprising thing has always been though, since I moved west from the East, only my mom and sister have come to visit...my other two siblings haven't. They always explain it as they don't have money, but they do to buy toys for themselves....so if I look at Debra's post again.....I might try and stop dwelling so much on the past. It has been very miserable for me for 7 years...almost like a constant grief over loss of loved ones.

mixiechic17 4 weeks ago

I can very much relate to what all of you are saying.

My situation was a little different. I moved to end a 12 year relationship with my long-time boyfirend. We lived in small N.Wisconsin community and I felt we would never end our difficult relationship if we lived in the same town. I really liked my job and my home. At the time, I was very burnt out on everything. When a job opportunity came available in California, I spent every dime I had and relocated, without my BF. I didnt really think about if I could sell my home or if I should store my things, etc. I just gave everything to my X....(even our dog) and moved into a tiny apartment in California to start my new job. It was the scariest thing I've ever done.

For the first year, it felt like a great adventure. I met someone new and did a lot of exploring...but I feel so nomadic. I'm not sure where home is anymore. I lived 4 hours from my mom and brothers and their children and i am still that distance by plane.

I'm just not sure I made my move for the right reasons.

misplacedmaritime 4 weeks ago

I'm not sure if reading these comments makes me feel better or worse about being far away from home. However, I now realize that I'm not the only one dealing with it...that's for sure.

I moved from the East Coast of Canada to the West after university to just travel for a few years. Met my husband out west...fast forward 19 years and 3 children later. Once you start careers, purchase a home, start kids in school....moving becomes much more difficult. I have never gone more than 12 months without a visit "home", but it has never gotten easier to leave. I have a great family, but staying out west was, by far, the worst decision I have ever made. I have never felt like the west is my home....I still call NS "home" and always will. I feel like I'm grieving and am still waiting for the acceptance stage. Great to see family when I go back, but visiting once a year simply sucks.

Advice to anyone thinking of moving more than a "drive away". Don't do it. It's awful to not be able to drop in on family over a long weekend....I will get back there one day. I just keep holding on to the dream.

I hope these comments will save even just one person from making the decision to leave their roots:)

Amie 4 weeks ago

Ahhh its so good to know other people are going through exactly what im going through. I met my partner online at 15, we talked for a year and finally decide to meet up just before I turned 17. He lives in bath England and I lived in a little town in south wales so it took me over 3 hours to come and see him. He never came to visit me as (i had much to learn) his mother had so called 'disabilities' to which he couldn't (more like over controlling mother, wants her son to live at home till hes 40'. So I spent hundreds of pounds to see him every week. Time moved on and it was getting really hard to be seperated from him. I deiced to go and live with him in his mothers house. At this time, my home which I have grown up was on the market going to be sold as my father died and my mother wanted to go home to be with her family in cornwall. The house sold and I moved to be with my boyfriend and my mother,gran and brothers moved to cornwall. At this time I thought everything would be fine and the homesickness would disappear after a couple of weeks. But it just got worse and worse. I will never feel apart of his family as it feels as if they are from a totaly different lifestyle, and I feel kind of bullied from them. We ran away from his mothers house and we were homeless for 2 weeks. We got a emergancy accomidation in a random town and we were there for over 2 months, but at this time, the stresses of homeless-ness, friends and family being miles and miles away, I could never go home and sit in my room again as somebody else was living in my home, and feeling be-littled by my partners family, drove me to sink into depression and smoke my days away.After a while, i gave up and went home, but as I as i wasnt going home, i felt in a even worse position because I wanted my partner there. I got a job and they were the worst employers known to man, they used me. so after a heartbreaking 3 months living back at home, I moved back to my partners and we moved out (after months of struggle from his family) and into a lovely place, but I still feel more alone and stressed than ever and everyday there seems to be another thing i have done wrong and there is only so much of the mis-trust I can take. I really dont know what todo, and me and my partner have gone through so much together, but I dont think he realises I want to move home, and be surrounded my family and feel at peace with myself again, but if he was to move to where my family are, he would feel exactly the way I feel right now as he is very close to his family.Im only 18 and I thought I was a strong person after watching my father die of cancer but now,for the first time in my life, i want to say I GIVE UP and I just want my mum :(

Debra 4 weeks ago

For Homeward1...

I hear you...I too, was the first and only in my family to move away...I have 2 siblings...a brother and sister...

All the 10 years I lived in Texas, my sister came to visit once, my brother 3 times. My best friends, that I grew up with, never...My Mother, however visited about 3 or 4 times a year...

They always had good excuses, and I knew that we all have our own lives to live.

One of the mistakes I made was dwelling on the past at home and remembering how it was growing up...and thinking things would be the same...

It is so different living in a city verses a small town...My family was never wealthy and didnt fit into the small town social clicks...In the city...no one cares...and are much nicer...

Since this post, I have made the decision to save my money and go back and leave the dysfunctional ones to themselves...I will come back every 6 months or so and visit...but I dont feel I belong here anymore...

I will consider this one of lives lessons that I had to learn on my own..

Good luck with your decision...

paige 3 weeks ago

Help I need some feedback...I am a single mom of 3 (2 adult girls and 1 teen son). I have lived in California all my life, my father died when I was 14, I came from a family of 6 children. All my other siblings married and moved on (2 to other states) and the others were far enough away to only visit my mom maybe 3-5 times a year. My mother felt very emotional about our hometown and didn't want to leave it. I chose to stay close to my mom not only because I hated the idea of her being alone but also because we were very close. I gave up dreams of travel and going away to college to be with her and my 3 children were the only grandchildren she ever really got to know or even see on a regular basis. My mom passed a year ago and I miss her but I also see that now I am free to experience life and finally see somethings. There are 3 siblings that reside here in Los Angeles not more then 30 minutes away...but I haven't seen since the funeral, they never return phonecalls are too busy with work and there family life that me and my 3 children feel "alone". My other 2 siblings I always have kept in contact...1 is in Colorado but not a very healthy person mentally or physically for me or my family to be around. The other sibling lives in mass. She has been there for over 25 YEARS and has asked me to come live out there with her and her 4 children. I'm really considering the move because the cost of living is so much lower, the quality of life is so much better than Los Angeles. I have always preferred a more rural area than the fast paced city life. My teen son is just "OK" with the idea...his father resides out here in Los Angeles and I've given him the option to stay with his dad, but he does not have anykind of real relationship with him and would prefer to stay with me. My 19 yr old daughter is very supporting and encourages the move and "change" however. My 24yr old who has my 2yr old grandson who is married living with her husband 2 Hrs away from me that I only get to see maybe 1-2 x per month for a few hours is completely against the idea. She loves the city life thinks that I should just move closer to her so I can babysit my grandchild more and be there for her... she says moving so far is abandoning h3r....I love my children and granchild ... but I would love to experience something new in my life...I feel stagnant and suffocating here and never have any family other than my 3 youngest... but its so difficult when my oldest makes it seem like I'm uncaring and selfish ...please can anyone give me some feedback?

Debra 3 weeks ago

For Paige...

I have a question...Have you ever gone out to visit with your sister in Mass.?...Did you like it there?..

If so...go for it...You can always go back if things dont work out...It will be hard to go back..as that is a giant move...and will be expensive..Make sure that if things dont work out...you can financially afford it...If you own your home in CA...consider leasing it until you make up your mind to stay...at least you will have a home to return to..(I didnt do that)..and now I will have to rent when I return to Texas..which is ok...

I think that you should be commended for your loyalty for your Mother, to give up your dreams to be close to her...You are NOT selfish...and dont let your oldest daughter make you feel that way...

My personal opinion...I also think that everyone should be adventurous and try something different, at least once...

Beware tho...you will miss your grandson terribly...even tho you just see him 1-2 times a month...It will be harder, with you so far away for them to visit..

Since I moved back to my hometown...I get to talk on the phone at least once a week to my grand daughter, who is 8..my grandson is 2...Due to everyone's work...and the economy...visitation is hard..and next to impossible..sometimes..

Your daughter will get over it...I dont know what it is about older children...My 27 year old daughter is so selfish and self-centered...she wants everything to be about her..and her needs...When I lived in the same town as her...I only heard from her when she needed something...And I was always 2nd in line to my son-in-laws family for holiday gatherings...They always went there first..and came to my house later..

I dont understand why siblings cant be close anymore...My 2 only siblings live right here in this small town...and are always angry about something..they dont speak to each other or me..which makes things hard for my Mother.. Be glad you have at least one sibling you are close too...

I dont know if I have helped you..but good luck with anything you decide on...Try something new...but..be sure that you can return if you choose to...

libra123 3 weeks ago

I don't think this thread will ever die. I moved to Canada from the UK 23 years ago, leaving my family behind. I have struggled with this often. As my kids grew older it got harder for me to visit home. Now my mom has passed and I feel guilty for not being there to help my dad. If only I knew i would not have made this move. My husband has his family here and I have constantly been reminded of how much I have missed out on when I see him and his family enjoy each other. I cannot change what is done, but do have regrets!

homeward1 3 weeks ago

for Debra:..

Thanks for your reply. I think you are making the right decision. I'm sorry that you have to experience this...but maybe you are helping to 'pave' the way for some of us who want to go back so terribly bad. I came from MI to AZ. My mom and sister have come out numerous times in 6.5 years, No other siblings. No friends. I guess maybe the friends weren't so much of friends that I thought they were....after twenty years of friendship. I don't know why some of us cling to the past and can't move forward without it being so terribly painful...and then some have no problem moving and moving on. I feel like the last 6.5 years of my life has been 'suspended' somewhere as if I haven't been moving forward or backward. Nothing of real significance that I can gage the years on....like events back home. It if a part of grief I suppose. You are brave Debra, even though you don't feel like it. You are making the right choice....going back to someone who loves you and needs you. That is why I have decided, at least for now....that I too will stay here. What kind of mom would leave her grown kids who moved out her with her and run to my own mom back in MI and siblings that don't even come to visit. Best of luck to you. Smile when you see your daughter, and don't look back. You can do this!

Erika 3 weeks ago

Wow I'm glad i found this thread good points . Well here I's my story that I might share ... I am 26 year old with my husband who I's in the restaurant industry ... We have a 3 month old daughter together .. My husband he I's not very close to his family but i am very close to mine ... I am with them almost every day ! I am the oldest of 5 children the youngest being 7 and 9 years ... old .. My sister who I's 23 and mother are my best and only friends I have ... Well my husband a server trying to support my daughter and I and stay at home mom got a job as an assistant manger I'n another state ... I'm glad because we are really struggling and my family I's glad to because they know our lil family needs this and i know it too but all i can do I's

keep crying !!! It's only 3 hours away we are I'n Ohio and moving to Kentucky were my husband prginally I's from .. But it just so hard I'm a social person and i won't be able to watch my brothers and sister grow up and my family watch my daughter grow up :(

after we spen a year there the worst part I's knowing that we will have to move even father away out west . Im just dreading the loneliness to come ! Plus my Hubby works all and day and night so I'm always alone with my baby .. What can I do to get through this ?

Emily 2 weeks ago

If I knew how lonely I would be feeling now, a year ago I wouldn't have moved. My husband and I are from different states, I had been studying at university in his state (where we met) and my dad had a few strokes so we kept traveling back and forth together. I am one of seven children with 19 neices and nephews and miss everyone so much! We moved into to my parents house when we decided to leave his state, one reason being he doesn't a)particularly like his family and b) my parents love him, he's their son. My dad can't wait for my husband's visits home with me and this makes my life even harder. If I felt loved and cherished from my in laws as much as my parents love my husband, maybe living so far away from my family would be bearable, but they come from another world. Their standards compared to my own family are non existent. They are jealous creatures who are unable to see past their own sad existences. My parents owned a very successful business, working 24 hours a day whilst raising seven children, making their money through helping people. They deserve the things they have and yet my in laws are all very focused on what they don't have. It's not my fault they couldn't afford to buy a house, nor should I feel guilty for the beautiful jewelery my husband has spoilt me with. My husband was given the opportunity to see the way my family are together, he appreciated the love my dad bestowed on my mum, and decided he would buy me nice things too. I'm so lonely here it's making me sick. I have no friends and can't visit any of my in laws becuase they all have houses i'm not welcome in because they're hoarders, and don't want me to have a terrible opinion of them. The only trouble is, here housing is affordable, my husband got a promotion and we moved for university, hoping to move back once we had a house deposit. Should we move back? Honestly I believe family is more important than money and we can study online. I just feel so sick, i want to be sitting at my parents watching television chatting away whilst my dad makes me rub his hair, my husband is teasing everyone and mum brings out a box of chocolates to share with a cup of tea. I miss my sisters visits with their kids and last time I visited one of my sisters, her little girl grabbed me around the neck and begged me not to go away again. This breaks my heart. Family really is everything.

mike 12 days ago

I am a good guy and i'm ready to give up on EVERYTHING even (LIFE). NO I'm not a saint and i'm not a perfeat guy but I don't put on a face in the morning. I am real I don't fake my life and i try my best to make my freinds happy. I am a very hard working and i need to get away from here PLEASE give me a chance and call me. I will give you more info about me. 5027155768. I'm not looking for something for nothen NEVER HAVE NEVER WILL. I will work hard and I CAN AND WILL PROVE IT. 50271557685027155768 call me IPROMISE YOU WILL BE HAPPY YOU DID.

mike 12 days ago

I am a good guy and i'm ready to give up on EVERYTHING even (LIFE). NO I'm not a saint and i'm not a perfeat guy but I don't put on a face in the morning. I am real I don't fake my life and i try my best to make my freinds happy. I am a very hard working and i need to get away from here PLEASE give me a chance and call me. I will give you more info about me. 5027155768. I'm not looking for something for nothen NEVER HAVE NEVER WILL. I will work hard and I CAN AND WILL PROVE IT. 50271557685027155768 call me IPROMISE YOU WILL BE HAPPY YOU DID.